Welcome to the SynergyCo Intranet!

This is the official internal website for all SynergyCo associates. Please bookmark it. Last modified: 03/14/2003 (banner updates automatically).

Announcements

CONGRATULATIONS! Employee of the Month: Dale Pruitt (Accounts Receivable), for the 300th consecutive month! Please stop by 2C and say well done, Dale!

FACILITIES: The coffee machine on 3 is NOT broken. It is "thinking." Please give it time. Hitting it does not help it think.

STRATEGY: The Synergy Initiative Phase 4 kicks off Monday! Phase 3 is ongoing. Phase 2 did not happen. Phase 1 was a pizza party. More details to follow (see Phase 3).

SECURITY: Do NOT engage with Chip Marlowe regarding "the Program." He is not a vendor. He is not a consultant. He is not an associate. We do not know how he obtained a building pass. If he says you are "ready," you are not.

FROM IT (2009): This intranet is not monitored. Please stop emailing it.

LOST: Has anyone seen the blue stapler from 4B? It is blue. It is a stapler. No questions asked.

Employee of the Month

Dale Pruitt

Accounts Receivable · Desk 2C-14

300th consecutive month

"I just do my job." — Dale, accepting the award for the first time, March 2001, and every month since.

HR notes that no other associate has been nominated since 2001 "because, honestly, what would be the point."

Day	Hot Entrée	Notes
Mon	Chicken Surprise	The surprise is the chicken.
Tue	Surprise (no chicken)	—
Wed	Taco Day	CANCELLED (see memo re: Taco Day incident)
Thu	Leftover Surprise	Please do not ask what is in it. Cook does not know.
Fri	Pizza	No pineapple pending a ruling elsewhere.

Org Chart (updated by: Dale)

Dale Pruitt
Employee of the Month

CEOCFOVP SynergyFacilitiesIT (2009)The coffee machine

Everyone reports to Dale. This was not the intention of the original chart. Nobody has updated it back.

IT Help

Q: How do I reset my password?
A: Please email IT. (IT is not monitored.)

Q: Why is this intranet on the public internet?
A: Please email IT.

Q: Is SynergyCo still in business?
A: This page is still here. Draw your own conclusions. Dale is still Employee of the Month.

© 2001 SynergyCo. All rights reserved. Best viewed in Netscape Navigator 4.7 at 1024×768. For internal use only. If you are not a SynergyCo associate, please close this window and forget everything, especially about the coffee machine.

Welcome to the SynergyCo Intranet!

Announcements

Employee of the Month

Cafeteria Menu — week of 03/10/2003

Org Chart (updated by: Dale)

IT Help